Proud of you: 2020 edition

Around this time last year I listened to an episode from Pursuit with Purpose podcast, where Sunny Lenarduzzi shared that she writes herself a letter about how proud she is of herself. I wrote a similar journal prompt last year and you can read it here. In this season of uncertainty, it is absolutely imperative that we reflect on what we’ve endured and persevered through because we have, you have. Even if we’ve lived like this for nearly a year, its a year that we couldn’t have fully prepared for physically and mentally. I invite you to sit down in a quiet space where you cannot be disturbed and write this as honestly as you can to yourself. Be vulnerable. Celebrate what you are most proud of about how you handled 2020. Write about the tough moments. Tell yourself you are proud of how you kept pressing forward and why this is important to you. You deserve to remember that you are resilient, brave, and strong.

While I normally don’t share journal entries, I am sharing in hopes that you write yourself a letter too.

So here goes…

Dear Maryann,
Well shit. This year was awful.

 I’m not quite sure how you survived this year in a decently coherent state but here you are – bruised and bent but not broken.

This year has exposed more traumas, shame, and mom guilt like never before.

You had the biggest miscommunications and arguments with people closest to you this year. This was one of the hardest years for you. It was extremely for you to swallow your pride to admit you were wrong and apologize. Hey guess what – you did something that you were never taught to do. I am proud of you for that. Its not easy to be that vulnerable, hold space for other people’s feelings, acknowledge that you wronged them and then move forward with a fresh set of eyes and new understandings. Unlearning and relearning isn’t easy. Be kind to yourself. You know change doesn’t happen overnight. 

This year, your marriage was tested to its absolute breaking point but you managed to extend compassion along with a hard boundary. You and Chris became more emotionally intimate with each other with the help of therapy and radical empathy. Supporting a recovery addict is complex and overwhelming but I think you are continuing to handle it beautifully. Like you say often – you are an amazing wife. You deserve trust, respect, and unconditional support.

Can we just talk about how you expanded your brands The Filipino Mom blog and Maryann Clark Coaching: Radiate Life!?!? Like whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…..and how did you do all those things in the middle of a pandemic. Like is it sorcery or what? I see you doing the work to heal yourself on a daily basis and it shows in how expansive your brands has become. You are a worthy of all the success. You are worthy of the accolades. You are worthy of being seen – scars, imperfections, and all. This work is invaluable to our community. Continue to follow your inner knowing and creating safe spaces for everyone to feel seen and celebrated.

Last but not least, you have leaned into your faith more than ever before. Looking outside of yourself and leaning on Christ was truly how you managed the year that is 2020. Revile in how you utilized all that faith and hope. When you felt overwhelmed with life’s struggles, you listened to His still small voice. You knew the answer was always to love first and lead second. Being bent and bruised in a broken world is not easy but you did it anyways. You continued – believing that God will see you through it. He did. You did. Amen

I encourage you to reread this letter next year to remind yourself of all you’ve accomplished. 2020 was an unspeakable mountain to climb and you’ve handled it with humility, grace and grit. Let’s growwwwwww!!!! 

Blessings and love,
Me

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